Sunday, April 27, 2008
My alternate reality
Nicholas is dreaming of an alternate reality, literally.
Two days in a row. Same person, both extreme scenarios.
Happy, Sad. Now, lost.
Seriously, this is whack.
I wrote to you
5:09 PM
Monday, April 14, 2008
Choices
I am not gonna rattle and state the known fact that we as human beings have the ability to make choices every day, even every minute. Consciously or Sub-consciously. Instead I’m gonna focus on the stupid choices I make, in love, to be exact.
I think I’m hexed, probably by some ex fling or girl that I used to be with. Things have gotten to a stage where I have resorted to thoughts like this. What things u may ask? I’m talking about my messed up love life. Well, most people wouldn’t call it love life because it ain’t even two way for me sad to say. I have came to a point and realized that I have been falling for the wrong girls since I turned 16.
By wrong girls I don’t mean bad girls like loose ones or whores or sluts or whatsoever. In fact, I’m talking about good girls, just not made for me that’s all. Girls that I should have know, never to like from the very start, either someone way outta my league, someone who just wanna be friends or recently a good friend. We go way back. That’s the problem with me; I think I fall in love too easily. Perhaps its loneliness or like some of my friends say, I’m thinking with the wrong head. Whatever the reason, it’s fucking me up.
I seriously need to get out of this devious cycle of girl to girl liking. I’m not a player, never will be. I’m just someone who falls in love too easily. I can’t help it. I tell myself NO, but I end up falling in the same hole. Some of my friends tell me, good things always come when I least expect it, but how can I not be expecting and hoping when I look around and see TWOs.
Sigh, face it Nic, you’re fucked.
I wrote to you
11:08 PM